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They may not even recognize their comments, but the child (or children) is hanging on to every word, looking for at least a tiny bit of acceptance from family. Many times they find hate instead of acceptance, sometimes to the point of being kicked out of the house at age 14 or 15 when a homophobic parent does find out...
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This leaves them with nowhere to turn.
Many of these teens are themselves suffering from the same prejudices that the rest of their family may share. Or perhaps they've gotten past that, and started to forge a new identity, where being gay or lesbian is something of which they can be proud.
Sometimes, what makes it so especially hard for gay teens is the very thing that protects them, their invisibility...
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