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They hear about it in fairy tales and act it out in their play. Death is a part of everyday life, and children, at some level, are aware of it.
Mixed messages are confusing, and may deepen apprehensions and misunderstandings and may leave children confused. Children look to adults for cues about how to behave in certain situations...
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It is usually easier to talk about death when we are less emotionally involved. Children can also use the method of regression when a parent's death is perceived as an unreal loss the strong sense of insecurity due to the lack of nurturing and affection from one's parent. Projection is another defense mechanism that has been a part of the child's life the hiding on one's own feelings from another, directing aggressive behaviors against others, another coping mechanism is denial the true disbelief that this has happened and how can they fix it...
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