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The terrible tragedy is that they don't even see what terrible things are going on. Let us take the most common example, a battered wife and an abusive husband. The husband doesn't see how much he is hurting the woman he loves, while the meek woman is so blinded by love that she doesn't see that his actions are totally inappropriate...
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Dr. Richard J. Hazler would suggest that the man and the woman in this scenario reverse roles and show each other how they see one another. He feels that direct interventions are one of the best ways to "Break the Cycle of Violence" which is consequently the title of his book. He discusses the bully and victim relationship and how they interact and how they tent to perpetuate that relationship by never getting anything done about it...
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