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This last point is one of the land mines of poorly-done open adoption: when an uncounseled birthmother, with no post-placement counseling, is blindsided by her stormy emotions after the separation from her baby, a natural thought is, "I made a mistake. I've got to get my baby back," even if her decision to relinquish her child was a sound one and a right one...
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I've got to get my baby back," even if her decision to relinquish her child was a sound one and a right one. You see, we as a society aren't good with ambivalence-we're conditioned to think that if something is right, it feels good, and if it feels bad or is difficult, it must be wrong.
Axness, (n.d), also explains that Quality counseling for prospective adoptive parents includes:
(1) Exploring their own profound losses, of infertility or the death or miscarriage of a child or children;
(2) Examining their reasons for adopting a child;
(3) Really understanding that a prospective birth mother will not be in a position to make a decision about relinquishing her child until after the baby has been born;
(3) Understanding that they will be witnessing close-up the very real grief of their child's birthmother, and that this is a normal part of open adoption;
(4) Embarking on an inner journey to confront the most destructive force in adoption-personal insecurities and fears...
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