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I had previously lived a life of chaos and hurt

With self-esteem no higher than dirt

Never knowing what it was like to be put first

I was used to being confused and scared

Finding nothing but the gallows of despair

I was always neglected

Always feeling like I didn't belong

Or even accepted

Waiting for the next time

To just be rejected

I couldn't help the feelings I had

Mixed emotions of feeling mad and sad

I couldn't help that I was treated bad

And that's what made me so apprehensive

Running from my feelings inside

Trying to scurry to get away

Trying to hide

I had no other options

Until that day I was thankfully

Put up for adoption

And I'm sorry to say, because of my past

When I first arrived, I made it clear, very fast

That I wasn't going to make it easy

I didn't make it easy for my new family, I'm sure

For they hadn't experienced anything like me before

Making them second think about letting me stay

I was always fiercely pushing them away

Fighting and struggling to keep them at bay

Unintentional of course

I honestly never meant any harm

And I finally realize and see how I always held out my arms

Trying to protect myself from foreshadowed pain

That wasn't even there

Pain I hallucinated in my brain

But now?...

I had previously lived a life of chaos and hurt

With self-esteem no higher than dirt

Never knowing what it was like to be put first

I was used to being confused and scared

Finding nothing but the gallows of despair

I was always neglected

Always feeling like I didn't belong

Or even accepted

Waiting for the next time

To just be rejected

I couldn't help the feelings I had

Mixed emotions of feeling mad and sad

I couldn't help that I was treated bad

And that's what made me so apprehensive

Running from my feelings inside

Trying to scurry to get away

Trying to hide

I had no other options

Until that day I was thankfully

Put up for adoption

And I'm sorry to say, because of my past

When I first arrived, I made it clear, very fast

That I wasn't going to make it easy

I didn't make it easy for my new family, I'm sure

For they hadn't experienced anything like me before

Making them second think about letting me stay

I was always fiercely pushing them away

Fighting and struggling to keep them at bay

Unintentional of course

I honestly never meant any harm

And I finally realize and see how I always held out my arms

Trying to protect myself from foreshadowed pain

That wasn't even there

Pain I hallucinated in my brain

But now?...

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